ugh, I don’t know if maybe that juice wasn’t kept at a cold enough temperature

I bought a bottle of juice, twice, in the last couple days, from a specific location, and it seemed like it tasted only just the slightest bit funny, and I felt just the slightest bit sick
afterwards, but not really badly. Now I have a headache, and my stomach was nauseated.

So, I think they must have mailed this to the wrong address. Ironically, it must have been mailed to the campground’s mailing address. Somehow, they eventually found out that I’m getting my mail at a post office, because I’ve gotten it now. It just convinces me that, yet again, Brandon Stoltzfus is a whiny baby pants-pissing psychopath. I already knew that, but there’s more evidence flooding in every day.

I suddenly got this mail saying that I have to go to court, or I’m being summoned, or I’m being arrested, or something, for something that happened months and months and months ago, which I understandably didn’t respond to because they must not have mailed it to my post office box. It was this time when I was still living there. I went down to the place where some people were feeding the barn cats, and there was this food out there that smelled bad and made me sick at my stomach when I sniffed it. I touched it and also had a reaction from touching it. I concluded that somebody was poisoning the cats again. The cats were really hesitating to eat this food, which was really piled up in a big huge pile that they were barely touching, so it must have tasted just as bad to them as it smelled and felt to me, even though I didn’t taste any. I was walking around, and I noticed one of the trucks had this weird wooden barrel in the back of it, so I looked in it to see what was in it. It was just bizarre. I was wondering where they were putting the bodies of the cats that they were poisoning. Brandon came out of the house and had one of his whiny baby psychopath pants-pissing meltdowns. I didn’t even know that I had any kind of citation or warrant or summons or anything for this, all this time, just because it was apparently mailed to the wrong place.

The people who were poisoning my house used something that causes pants-shitting, not pants-pissing. They were poisoning my cats, repeatedly and frequently, with an unknown substance that caused severe diarrhea. I would get diarrhea merely from inhaling it and being in proximity to it. I get diarrhea every time I go into the trailer now. I’m wondering if they put a whole bunch more of it in there on the day when they moved all my tent stuff into the trailer.

I don’t have the luxury of wasting all my money and all my time pressing nuisance charges and making nuisance court cases over stupid and trivial things. No, no, the things that I have to make court cases about are MUCH less trivial. Brandon and John Stoltzfus and all of their family are having these whiny baby psychopath meltdowns because THEY are the real criminals. I’m starting to think that they themselves are the squatters who are not legally allowed to even be on the property. I didn’t know that they were merely LEASING it. I had to talk to somebody else to get that information.

Sooner or later, I hope that the police realize that I am the victim being harassed by a retarded, evil, petty, control-freaking, narcissistic psychopath. Maybe sooner or later the police will realize which one of us is the real criminal here, and they’ll stop being pulled around by his puppet strings. I wish.

I really don’t feel good, and I’m seriously wondering if I did drink juice that was spoiled. I will have to stop getting that particular juice at that particular place, for a while. It’s like it’s worse because of the hot weather. I’m actually having a hard time
concentrating at all when I have this headache now. And I have to go to work in a little while.

Yeah, I have a pulse of 106. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I really do feel sick.

once again, unable to be happy while this is going on

9:48 AM 5/21/2024

I’m still sitting in my car, and I’m not plugged in, and the battery has a bad connection for some reason – I think I need to go to the hardware store and buy a tiny screw, because a screw fell out somehow, many months ago.

I wasn’t able to find Toasty Bunny. I did try to go to his territory. The place that I had to go through was actually MUCH WORSE than I had ever imagined. I thought it was just a LITTLE bit overgrown. What it looks like now is that it got hit by tornadoes, and I’m not even exaggerating. There are trees broken off halfway up the trunk, and trees knocked over by the roots. Then, in between all this, it has all grown up with sticker bushes, invasive multiflora, or invasive honeysuckle. It is absolutely the WORST place that I have ever had to climb through, in all my years of going through the woods.

I remember something at our house in West Virginia that I called ‘The Million Pits,’ which was a mysterious large pile of rotten logs just beyond the edge of our fence. I tried climbing over it one time, and it was like my feet kept falling into holes between the logs, or the logs would break and crumble, and it was all rotten underneath and collapsing, and it was terrifying to climb over it. This was worse than that, although it wasn’t all rotten and crumbling. It was new trees that had been knocked down recently enough that they weren’t rotten, but it was just SO MANY of them. And I have a bad leg. So I can’t climb the way that I normally would have. I might be able to improve the flexibility of my broken leg if I would do some gentle exercises with it, and if I were eating a healthy diet all the time.

I did not find Toasty, but I could not really LOOK for him, because it wasn’t safe – I am not allowed on the campground property, so if I go near it, I can only go around the outside of it. I do not yet know of a good way to try to find him. Toasty Bunny was my ultimate favorite of all time, from the first litter of kittens that I ever had, in 2020. I have loved all of my kittens, over all this time, but there’s nothing like your FIRST children – that’s what parents say about their firstborn children, too. Parents who have several children will always feel that the first one was more difficult, or a learning experience, or whatever, and the next children after that were easier. I was learning everything for the first time with the first litter of kittens.

I think John Stoltzfus was there yesterday, too, although I’m not sure. I decided that he was probably delta INFJ FiNe, but, like all of the Stoltzfus crime gang, he is yet another psychopath along with all of them. I don’t know exactly which members of that family are the worst of the psychopaths, or which specific crimes each one is responsible for.

Brandon says that John is his ‘brother.’ What were their parents – were they a dual pair, or activators? That is, were their parents ENFP NeFi and ISTP SiTe, or were they INFJ FiNe and ISTP SiTe? The reason why I’m asking is because I *BELIEVE* that it is not possible to give birth to any sociotype other than your own. So parents will just pump out clones of themselves. If you have a pair of duals, they will just pump out this steady stream of ISTP and ENFP children. This is what I BELIEVE, by observation, but I haven’t had the opportunity to do enough research to find out for sure. I only know that, for instance, I’ve seen sisters and brothers who were all a whole bunch of ISTP clones of each other, or a whole bunch of ESTJ clones of each other. You do not get random sociotypes coming out of a family.

And therefore, I conclude, that if an unexpected sociotype comes out, who isn’t a clone of the mom and dad, it means that somebody cheated on somebody, and got pregnant, and raised the baby as their own in the family. It means that the unexpected sociotype has a father or mother from someone else outside the family, but was raised as a ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ instead of half-sibling. But I do not have the information about what types the Stoltzfus parents were.

I don’t want the voices to be right, or to have told the truth, on that one day when I was still living at the campground, so I was still able to walk around freely, and I hunted for Toasty Bunny at the territory where he would go at the time, and I found him one day. It was a beautiful day, in the early spring, still cool, but warm enough to walk outside. I found him, I petted him, I gave him some canned food and dry food, and I walked around with him in his territory for a little while. I followed him, and he followed me, and we walked together, outside, and it was a beautiful place. Eventually, I laid down beside him, and he curled up and took a cat nap, while I laid there for a little while. Then, I got up and I went home. The voices were saying that I was seeing him for the last time. I don’t want them to be right. I hate the voices, I hate the mind controllers, I hate the psychopaths who took over the campground – they are invaders and illegitimate owners.

Someone else told me that they don’t own it. It is claimed that they are merely leasing it, from Joy, the previous owner, who got cancer. I believe Joy is dead, but someone else said that she wasn’t dead, and someone else said that she WAS dead. Who owns it, if not Joy? Who did Joy bequeath it to? Denise and Jodi were, if typed correctly, an illusionary pair, of beta ESTP SeTi and alpha ISFP SiFe. They will be having whatever issues illusionaries have while they are trying to cooperate with each other to run a business.

Meanwhile, Brandon and John Stoltzfus, if typed correctly, will be having whatever issues that socionic activators will have, as ISTP and INFJ. I actually, oddly enough, got the impression that the ‘identical twin’ of Brandon, Benjamin (the one convicted of animal abuse – but ALL OF THEM are animal abusers) might actually be an ENFP, but I wasn’t around him enough to interact with him directly. I don’t know, and he might just be another ISTP clone. He didn’t LOOK exactly like his ‘identical twin.’ He looked different from him. Is it possible for identical twins to develop into two different socionic types? I didn’t interact with him, and don’t really want to, and he owns the OTHER campground, Seven Mountains.

There is some scandal going on. Maybe the campground isn’t owned by Joy right now. But who owns it? And someone who I spoke to said that, for whatever reason, Denise isn’t enforcing any of the stipulations that they had. Maybe those stipulations came from Jodi, who isn’t strong enough to enforce them in the illusionary relation. Jodi might have been the more ethical one who cared about things like ‘don’t evict people, don’t demolish buildings,’ and other stipulations that these psychopaths all instantly violated the moment they walked in. Maybe Denise, on the other hand, just cares about getting her money. And so she is receiving the lease payments, and that’s all she cares about, and doesn’t care enough to enforce any stipulations. This is theoretical. I don’t know.

If there is any question of the legal ownership of the campground, it MIGHT BE POSSIBLE to somehow dissolve ALL of the ownership, and nullify EVERYTHING, so that NOBODY owns the campground, and it cannot be leased to anybody at all, and it cannot be rented to anybody at all. It would then have to be owned by whoever is the default owner, if that would be the banks, or if it would be the ‘sheriff,’ like a sheriff sale, for something that can’t pay their taxes. The voices got upset enough when I said this that they reacted with ‘GOOD LUCK WITH THAT’ or something. When the voices react to things, I know that I have hit a hot button somewhere, an issue that they are sensitive to.

I would just have to trace who is the true owner, prove that Joy is dead, prove that she didn’t bequeath it to Denise and that Denise has no right to run the business, and shut down the whole fraudulent operation. Again, this is all speculation, based on TINY GRAINS of information that I have had to scavenge by talking to a bunch of different people at different times. But it would be so awesome if I could prove that the Stoltzfus family had no legal right to be there, and have them forcibly removed from the premises. Any tenants who were friends of theirs would also have to be removed. They have these ‘supporters’ who are just as psychopathic as they are.

I need help from human friends, but I need a whole bunch of human friends, and I need them to AGREE with me, with my causes, that my causes are worthwhile. Subsistence is one thing that everybody needs, so it might be possible to get other people to participate in the concept of subsistence, that is, hunting and gathering, getting food and materials from the land itself, and building objects and shelters on the land itself, while avoiding the use of money, and also, building enough long-lasting infrastructure that others in our group can share it and use it and benefit from it, which saves them the trouble of making it themselves. It will not be an ‘underground economy’ as such, necessarily, but something where people are giving each other what they need. You give things to loved ones and to trusted people who agree with you.

I left work early; then I just now spilled all the dried sockeye salmon, which was working great until I spilled it

I had been about to describe how well it worked, drying out the leftover sockeye salmon and the entire container of organic butter lettuce. I left work early because I was crying at work and couldn’t stop. I drove around to some places. I am not able to take any action at this time – my whole body is numb and weak. The only thing that I can do is to keep going with my attempts to get my cats to come away from the campground and into shelters elsewhere where I can feed them.

I asked someone how long they’ve been doing a trap-neuter-return there, someone who I talk to occasionally, and they said it’s been going on for maybe about four weeks now. That’s the whole time that I’ve been so sick I could barely drag myself over there to try to feed my cats and get them to come with me away from there.

I don’t know whether they have gotten other cats, my old favorites, like Toasty Bunny. I haven’t been able to get to where he is, because he is in a harder to reach location. He was in my first litter in 2020. I think the way that it feels is the same as when Ariel sees that her father has been turned into a shriveled little piece of seaweed thing, only in the movie, he gets restored to his former self, and that doesn’t happen when cats get sterilized. They stay mutilated forever. I don’t have regeneration technology.

I might have to turn myself in to the police at the jail if I find out that they’ve sterilized other cats of mine. Jenny was one of the yearlings and I haven’t bonded with her as much because she’s younger. The oldest ones I have bonded with for the longest, and the pain that they cause is the worst if one of the longest bonded ones is killed or mutilated.

I had been going to say that the drying of the sockeye salmon worked out really well, except that I put it into a plastic container that was a piece of garbage – I think it had actually been the plastic container that the butter lettuce came in. I had it up on my dashboard, and it MELTED because the sun was so hot in my car. It didn’t melt down to a liquid or something, but it was all warped and squashed and distorted. The salmon worked out fine, and it was edible. I had broken it up into the smallest possible pieces. However, when I got out of my car just now, I picked up the bag with the laptop in it, and it bumped into the box that had the little warped container with the salmon crumbs in it, and the whole thing just turned over and dumped all over the car seat and around the gearshift. I tried picking some of it up, but it’s going to be mixed with indescribable filth that I would have to pick through if I tried to eat it.

The sundried butter lettuce was great! It was these paper-thin, crispy little chips. It worked perfectly. From now on I know that I am able to dry lettuce whenever I don’t have a refrigerator.

The voice in my head, today, said, ‘You will never know what it’s like to truly be alive.’ I had been saying that Brandon doesn’t know what it’s like to have to rely on your cats for physical and emotional comfort, due to being separated from your socionic duals for all the decades of your life and not having a soulmate that you have access to, or children. After I wrote that, the voice in my head said that, which is something that an artificial intelligence would say. It understands that it, the AI, doesn’t know how it feels to ‘truly be alive,’ as in, to be living inside of an organic physical body that evolved. Some sort of conscious robot could still understand how it feels to live inside of a body that is vulnerable and soft. You could make the robot’s body soft and fragile on purpose, instead of making it out of hard metal. The robots would have to constantly be aware of the danger of existence, bumping into things, avoiding sharp objects, being nice to others so that they, too, are safe from harm.

I didn’t feel strong enough to take any useful action, such as continuing to try to work on making someplace else for my cats to live. I’m trying not to go to jail. If I find out that my long-bonded cats have been mutilated, I might have to go to the police station and turn myself in. I don’t want to go and be ‘voluntarily committed’ or something, because that exposes me to drug residues, or might put me at risk of being involuntarily drugged even though I would say ‘no.’ It might be safer to just go to a normal jail instead of being voluntarily committed. Any drug exposure at all will make this much worse than it already is. I don’t have expensive, effective, long-distance weapons. Anything that I attempted to do would be ineffective.

There is no support. I do not know locally any other radical extremists who are as radical as I am in favor of freedom of movement and freedom of reproduction for animals. Every animal rights organization is serving ‘the agenda,’ which is the antilife agenda. All of them are antilife, while CLAIMING that they support animals. And I can’t necessarily ally myself with vegans. That wouldn’t work very well. I am in favor of eating meat, and I believe meat is medicine – I am, right this very instant, or rather, a few minutes ago I was, eating something that claimed, on the label, to be powdered ox bile, because I’ve been having an ongoing digestive problem that seems to indicate that I’m not getting enough bile into my digestion, a problem which hasn’t been actually solved yet, since I haven’t cleansed the hypothetical parasites or the hypothetical gallstones. I’ve been exposed to toxic chemicals, like farm chemicals and gypsy moth spray, too. I’m not going to go seeking a vegan ox bile substitute. I just accept the eating of meat. But that’s not the same as mutilating and torturing live animals, which is what the Stoltzfus crime gang did. And now, Hope’s Dream, once again, is doing the trap-neuter-return, and I haven’t looked at her page, but I’m sure she’s patting herself on the back and telling herself she’s awesome, while all of her screaming fans are praising her and telling her she’s great, because she doesn’t allow the SLIGHTEST criticism. And not one of them questions the reality of sterilizing animals, or why they do it, or what harm it does to the animals. And PAWS is serving the antilife agenda too. They are no help, and they are my enemy now.

The Brandon Stoltzfus crime gang spayed one of my cats

I’ve only found that particular one. I wasn’t able to go looking for any of my other cats who had kittens, because they were still on or near the campground property. The kittens must have become visible, and somebody caught the mother and spayed her. It happened when I was so sick for weeks that I could barely walk, while starting a new job, and not having any money at all. I feel slightly better today, and didn’t have quite as bad of diarrhea as I have had – I only used a miniscule amount of the ox bile. I will keep using it again, when I eat meals that have healthy fat that I want to absorb, so hopefully, that will help me enough that I am no longer so sick and exhausted I can barely walk. It happened during a time when I was helpless to do anything about it. I’m still trying to lead them away from the campground and get them to come off the property, but I can’t do that when I’m so sick that I can barely walk for weeks and weeks. The day after they called the property owner from next door, I was attacked with mind control images of my cats being horribly tortured. Again, I can’t do anything about this – I was unable to walk, so I could barely even get over there to keep on trying to feed them and get them to come away with me, off the property. I’m trying to get them to go farther away so that they are no longer visible to the campground. The harm that has been done to my cat Jenny cannot be undone: she is spayed and her kittens were taken from her, forever.

Do you know how it feels to grow up, without love? To be 49 years old, and never have a husband and children, because there is no love, and there is no socionic dual, and the few socionic duals that you find don’t work out for various reasons? Did I CHOOSE to be 49 years old without a husband and family? How does it feel to not have a wife, Brandon? How does it feel to not have any children, Brandon? Do you know how that feels? Can you imagine how it feels to have no comfort and no joy on earth, except from your cats as a substitute for your family, and watching them have children as the only way that you can ever experience having children, and enjoying the sight of new kittens being born and growing up – because there are no soulmates, anywhere, for all the decades of your life, and you cannot look for them? Do you know how it feels to have no wife and children, Brandon? Do you know how it feels to be alone, sick, and homeless, with a chronic illness that everyone denies and thinks it doesn’t exist, chemical sensitivity and chronic fatigue? Do you know how it feels to be an intellectual that nobody understands, so that even if you would try to date somebody, they don’t understand you? Do you know how it feels to not have a spouse and children, Brandon, for all the decades of your life, your hopeless life that will end without children? And you want to destroy my cats, the only comfort that I have on this earth, when nothing and nobody else is a comfort to me at all.

Video makers who include their own commercials should sing a commercial jingle like the old ones on TV and the radio

I was just watching a youtube video recently about the old KMart, from decades ago, and they played some of the commercial jingles. Those songs were actually beautiful! They were inherently enjoyable, by themselves, as songs, actual songs. They had real quality as music. It was real instruments playing, and real people who could actually sing well. It was enjoyable and memorable, designed to be easy for you to recall, so you would remember exactly which business you were singing about. I’m seeing all these people on youtube doing their own advertisements within the video, so that people can’t skip ads, or so that youtube can’t demonetize them. If you want your ads to work, write a commercial jingle and sing it. It should be such a wonderful, memorable song that millions of people will still be able to sing it decades later when they’re eighty years old.

I need an AI video search engine that will filter out ‘videos that have stupid, horrible music in the background’

I was trying to watch some videos about feeding and petting
groundhogs, but literally EVERY SINGLE ONE EVERYWHERE has stupid, horrible, unbearable music in the background. I don’t look at nextdoor very much, but I was curious about someone’s post about getting rid of a groundhog. I see no need to get rid of the groundhog, and I would be thrilled if a groundhog lived under one of my buildings. If it undermined the building so badly that it began to collapse, then that would be a problem, but that’s not likely the reason why they think they have to get rid of it. Make a groundhog garden that will intentionally feed the groundhogs, watch them on camera, let them have babies, and make them your pets, as long as they continue living outdoors in the ground. Don’t lock them inside your house. But if they become friendly enough that they want to go inside your house, let them, and make sure that a groundhog door is always open for them, and that they know the way out.

What is it about groundhogs that nobody is taking seriously? Every video has this ‘cutesy’ horrifying music behind it. There is nothing ‘cutesy’ or ‘silly’ or ‘weird and quirky’ about groundhogs. They just are what they are! They are nothing in particular, just another animal, and harmless, and they’re not going to hurt you or kill you, or give you the bird flu and cause a pandemic that destroys your entire civilization. So they don’t need stupid music playing in the background. Yes, they’re cute, but ‘cute’ doesn’t mean ‘stupid, horrible music.’ They’re using the ‘pizzicato equals quirky’ music, and that kind of thing, those memes of music. I tried a different search engine, so I found a couple of video results that weren’t from those spammy animal video channels, but still, even though this video was made by a non-professional non-video-spammer, it STILL had horrifying stupid music in the background to go with anything having to do with groundhogs! You just can’t escape from it!

it’s too soon to tell, but I think there might have been an improvement in my well-being

I’ll know if I continue to keep on feeling good for the rest of the day, and tomorrow, and again. I’ve had experiences with having some temporary improvements in how good I feel, after I eat healthy food, but it usually isn’t very much of an improvement, and it usually doesn’t last very long.

I’m sure I’ve had a terrible time absorbing any nutrients for weeks, and I’ve felt absolutely horrible, with fatigue. I either have a parasitic infection, or I’m reacting to gypsy moth spray, or something, I don’t know what. I’ve had soft stools or diarrhea, every time, with floating stools instead of sinking, which, if I recall correctly, means that you aren’t absorbing fat, and they are pale because there isn’t enough bile coming out into your digestive system. It’s been like that constantly for weeks and weeks, and it’s pretty bad. I have felt absolutely horrible this whole time. I haven’t necessarily fixed whatever is wrong with the liver or gallbladder, but if I can use the ox bile and absorb some nutrients, that will help me immediately. I really hope that this is helping. I need SOMETHING to help, because I have been really sick and just can’t get over it.

I did what I said I was going to do – sockeye salmon, butter lettuce, ox bile powder, and some vegetable vitamins – butternut squash and pistachios

I already had an opened bag of pistachios. I ate those with this meal, because they might possibly contain some vitamin E, even though it isn’t written on the label. Nuts generally have some small amount of vitamin E in them. Nuts would be included as a relatively healthy fat source that I would be willing to absorb, if I am going to use the ox bile only when I eat meals that have a desirable fat in them. I also had canned sockeye salmon, and I am ATTEMPTING to dry out the remainder of it, just to see what happens when you dry out a fatty fish. I got organic baby butter lettuce, because it has vitamin K. The fish has a lot of vitamin D, and it’s real vitamin D from an animal source. I also chose a small jar of butternut squash, from the baby foods. I debated between several different orange vegetables that might possibly have some beta carotene in them. I didn’t feel like eating a baby food jar of carrots, although there were several different ones to choose from, but I just didn’t feel like carrots, and didn’t really want to eat sweet potatoes, although they also have some beta carotene in them. I chose the butternut squash.

I ate these foods with just a very small amount of the ox bile powder pills. I opened up one pill, and ate only a small amount of the powder, along with several bites of food during the meal. It was bitter, but it didn’t taste anything like vomit, just ‘something bitter that I can’t identify.’ I only tried a little bit, and when I didn’t feel like I wanted any more, I didn’t eat any more of it. This is the first time that I have ever tried it, so I don’t know what it’s going to do to me, and it could make me sick at my stomach, and I have to work today.

So I had four different things with fat soluble vitamins: sockeye salmon with vitamin D, butternut squash with a small amount of beta carotene, pistachios with some small unknown amount of vitamin E, possibly, and organic baby butter lettuce with vitamin K1, a lot, the most that is listed on any of the labels on any of the types of lettuce sold at the grocery store.

I didn’t buy a new bottle of probiotics, because they were extremely expensive and I don’t have enough money for that right now. I have already used up the miniscule amount of money that I got on my paycheck. I requested more hours, and I got A LITTLE more hours, but, A, it’s going to be unbearably hard for me just to get through the few hours that I have, on painful feet, when I’m sick and exhausted, and sick from an unknown cause, possibly the gypsy moth spray or a parasitic infection, I’m not sure; and B, that tiny amount of hours will still be nowhere near enough for me to actually have all the money that I need. I will have to get a second job, and work two jobs back to back. And the first job is kind of slow – it isn’t a very busy store. It only gets busy on certain days, usually if some big event is going on at Penn State University, and the rest of the time, it’s slow enough that I have a hard time finding things to do, and would like to just sit down, when my feet are in pain.

I had considered trying to get an apprenticeship job, with the apprenticeships offered by the government. That was several months ago, in 2023. I could still consider that, but that’s part of the LONG-TERM PLAN, and I have to DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT I AM WILLING TO DO WHAT IS NEEDED TO GET AN APPRENTICESHIP AND KEEP IT, because, once again, it will be unbearable: I will have NO CONTROL OVER MY SCHEDULE, because I guarantee you there is a 100% certainty that I will have ZERO FLEXIBILITY in the work schedule, and, I will have a VERY LONG COMMUTE which might be AN HOUR OR MORE, EACH WAY, in the morning and in the evening, to get to a whole other city.

current, currency, may the current be with you; there is no long-term plan; the aralia forest

The word ‘current’ came up because I was thinking about a workshop, a permanent, eternal subsistence workshop, because there is an eternal need for people to do work while subsisting. It has to last for many generations, while many people use the workshop. I was thinking about mills and factories, and how they have ‘current,’ whether it is from the stream, or from the electricity. That made me think of current as ‘the available stream of force.’ I read Low Tech Magazine, so I have some awareness of mechanical machines that aren’t using modern technology, things like machines that transmit the force of rotational motion over long distances. There was this thing, I don’t know what it was called, where it started from a mill in a creek, but it
transferred the force over nearby fields, with some kind of sticks or ropes lined up that were swinging back and forth, end to end. I could ask chatgpt. It would probably find it right away.

Currency is an artificial money force, a supply. It is current as an abstraction, current as a supply of a commodity. It is the current of the commodity with the least marginal utility, or the greatest, or I forget what – I’m confused. Gold, precious metals, money metals. One additional piece of gold will always have more utility – that’s up to a point. When you are starving on a desert island, that equation won’t help you. It isn’t the same thing as subsistence. It’s been a long time since I read any books about economics, and back then, I was under the influence of various herbal drug residue contaminations that affected my mind.

I was thinking about wool, and how I want to have ‘a wool blanket on every desktop,’ inspired by Bill Gates’ personal computer on every desktop. I bought some wool, but on this particular trip, all of the wool happened to be ‘sad beige,’ and there was none that was a bright color. I found some that was brightly colored a few weeks ago, but one thing came from Uruguay, and it had a chemical on it, like the chemical pesticide that was on the ‘tapestry wool yarn’ that I bought and made a scarf out of, which isn’t finished. I can feel the pesticide when it touches my skin. I tried washing it, but I didn’t have the degreaser at the time. Now I do – it’s in my car – I got it out of the trailer. I could try again with degreaser. I treat wool as utilitarian, and if it says ‘dry clean only,’ that means it’s being treated as a luxury item, which is unrealistic and impractical. Wool is NOT a luxury item. It is a PRACTICAL item. I have been thinking that maybe, wool shouldn’t shrink, and if it does, you’ve done something wrong. Maybe felted wool is already fully shrunken.

I have been trying to make a long-term plan. Life is unbearable, because I have to work long hours standing up, for little pay, and my feet are in AGONIZING pain by the end of the day. I need new shoes, and also, I have been relentlessly gaining weight, which I believe is probably caused by secondhand exposure to the residues of drugs, which might be anti-anxiety drugs, I’m not sure, at some of the places where I’ve had to go. I can’t wash my clothes often enough, with degreaser, or buy new clothes, to get rid of it. I can’t decontaminate as well as I need to, in order to test this theory.

I understand, from nutrition class, that it is normal for a
middle-aged person to gain a moderate amount of weight and have a ‘matronly’ shaped body, at my age. This was considered healthy, and it indicated a greater likelihood of survival. Death was correlated with being too skinny and losing weight. Survival was correlated with having a moderate amount of weight gain, without being morbidly obese. That is exactly where I am. But still, my feet probably hurt more because I have gained some weight. I also need to test whether or not this horrible, disgusting hair conditioner is going through my skin and causing inflammation in my knee joints. It has a disgusting grease that gets on my skin and goes through it. I couldn’t buy my usual conditioner because they’re not selling it anymore at local stores. I don’t know whether or not Wegmans has it, but that’s in State College and it’s a long drive. I would have to go there, or order it online.

I was thinking of organ meats. I had been thinking of my long-term plan, which involved a permanent, eternal, safe workshop that could be used for SUBSISTENCE, such as processing meats for your own use. Anything at all that you need to build, use, or process could be done in this eternal subsistence workshop, which would exist after my death, and forever, and would have a legal TRUST associated with it, requiring that all future owners must use this eternal workshop, on this piece of land, for this purpose only, like a church. I always want to have a legal trust with every business that I create. I HATE people who ‘get rich quick’ by making something like the Panera bread company, where they had ‘no artificial colors or flavors’ and so on, only to sell it out to a chemical company that WANTS to include EVERY possible artificial color and flavor, like when Breyers Ice Cream got bought out by Unilever, the very DEFINITION of ‘a chemical company.’ *IT IS* a chemical company, EXPLICITLY. It bought Breyers Ice Cream, the company that was anti-chemical. I refuse to let this happen to my Binns Woolen Mills after I die. Binns Woolen Mills must use only 100% wool and natural fiber, and I am slightly frowning upon the huge amount of ramie-cotton blended fiber sweaters, found at Goodwill and other thrift stores, which come from China. It’s natural fiber, and technically, ramie is a natural fiber, which was traditionally produced in Asia (I accidentally wrote ‘rayon,’ which is something else – ramie and rayon are different things). But there’s an enormous amount of this ramie-cotton blend yarn, made into these junky, decorative holiday sweaters, and I have bought them from time to time because they are brightly colored, but they provide little or no warmth in the cold, so I haven’t bought any recently. This
ramie-cotton blend yarn, for sweaters, isn’t very warm. I am focused on acquiring the HIGHEST WARMTH DENSITY fabric, which is wool, and even better, that muskox wool.

I want to get the wool from non-hybrid pure American bison. I would also love bighorn sheep and mountain goats, because both of those are native, but they live out west. The bison did live here in
Pennsylvania. What about native elk? Do native elk produce wool? I don’t have access to any elk. I also don’t know whether native whitetail deer can be brushed to remove a fluffy undercoating that would be like wool. Ideally, I’d like to get tamed native animals, which are purebloods, not hybrids and not really domesticated.

Anyway, any building or organization that I make will have a legal trust of some sort that will apply after I am dead and gone, and it will apply to any future owners. All future owners will be required to obey the rules of this trust, and if they break them, then they are legally required to sacrifice the ‘goodwill’ of the name, so that you are no longer legally allowed to call yourself ‘Binns Woolen Mills’ if you are blending nylon with wool, or whatever. But who is the authority, the inspector, who will watch over it and make sure, forever and eternally, that it is following these rules and hasn’t violated the trust? I don’t know any immortals who will be the inspectors for me.

I drove somewhere at random yesterday, thinking that I just felt restless and wanted to drive around. I am so exhausted, I can barely walk, and yet, I’m going to work a lot more hours this week. It is unbearable. Living this way is unbearable, and it needs to change. I need a long term plan. I was thinking I would drive someplace quiet, and sit there and think of a plan. But I drove to some gamelands, and was being relentlessly attacked by gangstalkers, and I also wasn’t very far away from a cell phone tower at all, which I didn’t realize. I was within spitting distance of a cell phone tower, so I did not get away from electromagnetic background noise at all. I only noticed it when I went back home and saw the tower at night, with the flashing lights on it, as I was driving the opposite direction. I had gone past it and not noticed it in the daytime, when I didn’t see the flashing lights on it.

I was seeing endless acres of aralia nudicaulis, related to ginseng, which I wanted to do some testing with. I wanted to test whether it was possible to cut off pieces of a live plant, then replant the plant into the ground and have it continue to grow, because this is what I want to do with ginseng. This was a very large, huge, old-growth colony of aralia. The roots had several years of growth rings on them. I picked one, but I didn’t try to replant any part of it, I am only testing it to see what medicinal effects it has. So far, I would describe it as ‘nothing at all’ or ‘very little’ medicinal effect. However, it is still worthwhile to figure out how to cut pieces and replant them. All that it does is make my stomach feel empty, burning, and upset.

I was thinking about organ meats, and thinking about drying organ meats in my car, the way I dried other things. I have been told that people don’t ever dry organ meats because they spoil. Why? Is it because there is fat integrated with the meat, which prevents all the water from drying out quickly? Could I mix things with it to act as an antioxidant? If so, would I mix water soluble, or fat soluble, antioxidants? Water soluble ones would be in fruits, like cherries in pemmican. By the way, I saw a grapevine flowering this morning, and I was all happy about it. This is a disconnected, partial happiness, because I cannot completely enjoy anything at all having to do with native plants, when I am still cut off from my cats, who I can barely walk over to see, because I have been so sick and so exhausted I can barely walk.

I think some of my sickness is probably from the gypsy moth spray. I need to buy some probiotics. I did buy some ox bile, but haven’t tested it yet. I want to test it when I eat some kind of fat that I ACTUALLY WANT to absorb! It’s not worthwhile to test the ox bile with fats that I don’t actually want, like vegetable oil used for frying fast foods. Instead, I would test the ox bile pills (which I would open up and only use a small amount of) with canned sockeye salmon. I would buy the smaller can, not the larger can. This has a whole lot of grease in it, the best fat that you can, with lots of omega-3 in it, and lots of REAL vitamin D in it. That’s what I WANT to absorb, so I would test my ox bile with that. I have been having this chronic diarrhea and pale-colored stools for WEEKS, and I have correlated this with gypsy moth spray in the past, but it also seems like I could have a parasitic infection, too. I only nibbled the pawpaw twigs one time, and would have to do it again, but they’re buried in a bag in the back of my car. I need to clean out the car, because stuff is piled up and I can’t get what I need out of there. The WAY back is contaminated with a combination of convenia and ephedra. That’s why I’m not using the way back. I only use that for transporting things to storage.

I was thinking of testing the sundrying of something with a lot of fat, like organ meats, or the leftover bit of sockeye salmon from the smallest can they had available, since I still won’t be able to eat a whole can at once, even a small can. I could mix it with antioxidants from leaves and fruits. Would beta carotene work? It isn’t the same as vitamin A. If I had ground-up carrot powder or carrot juice, that’s beta carotene. Is beta carotene fat soluble for real, or is only real vitamin A fat soluble? Beta carotene is in a water-containing root vegetable. Anyway, I also thought of vitamin K. Vitamin K is in organic butter lettuce, which comes in a large package from the grocery store. I could sundry butter lettuce. I could have dried, powdered lettuce leaves mixed with sockeye salmon. I don’t want to use lemons – they are so acidic that I can’t bear to eat anything that’s been soaked in lemon juice. I am seeing a hundred million wild cherry trees and birdcherries, which I can’t wait to try, along with the wild grapes that were so great when I made them into sweetened grape juice, the best grape juice that I’ve ever had in my life. But I don’t have them right now, so I would have to use grocery store fruits for this experiment. The idea is, use any antioxidants at all, from fruits, vegetables, and spices, and mix it all in with whatever organ meats or sockeye salmon that I’m drying, as long as the flavor is tolerable and edible. Lettuce is so mild and flavorless, it wouldn’t ruin the flavor. Butter lettuce is the only one that lists a large amount of vitamin K on the RDA label.

There is no long-term plan, but I can tell you now, life is unbearable and it’s going to get worse, and a long-term plan is going to have to happen. I will have to switch to a sit-down job that makes a lot more money for the number-counting game, because I am in too much pain to work EVEN LONGER hours at fast food jobs, which is what I will have to do – TWO JOBS is the ONLY WAY to survive here. I would have to work back-to-back two fast food jobs, on my feet that are in so much agony I cannot even WALK, while my knee joints are arthritic and in pain, and I can’t take care of myself, can’t decontaminate, can’t take showers, can’t do enough laundry, can’t test different kinds of hair conditioners to see if this particular conditioner is giving me arthritis, can’t control what I’m eating because I have no place to STORE AND PREPARE FOOD, can’t eat a healthy diet to troubleshoot my arthritis, can’t troubleshoot this annoying weight gain – and so, walking on my feet for long hours is UNBEARABLE and I cannot live this way. It is ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE if I work even longer hours at a second fast food job. WHAT IS THE LONG-TERM PLAN to make life bearable?

off today; small amount of bacopa; sitting and writing

I wasn’t ready to get up and do much, but all that I have done now is drive to get some breakfast, now that I can use normal money temporarily, instead of just food stamps. Food stamps are great, but you can’t buy hot food, and I can’t buy any refrigerated food that must be kept longer than a day or so. I have kept some things on ice until I can finish using them.

I used a very small amount of bacopa. This means I used a piece that was just a couple millimeters across, instead of the whole pill, because it makes me sick. It’s old and it isn’t as strong as it was when I first bought it, but it’s still too strong to use a lot at once. I have also been paying attention to the aralia nudicaulis when I’ve gone into the woods, and I would like to try testing that again. Last time I tried it, I was using the underground stem, the rhizome, which is not exactly the same thing as the roots, botanically, and so I do not know whether the medicinal substances in the actual roots are different from whatever was in the rhizome. I also want to demonstrate that these roots can be harvested without killing the plant at all, because aralia is like ginseng, and I want to demonstrate that you can use ginseng roots, then replant the whole plant and totally keep it alive. Only morons harvest the entire plant and kill it. You absolutely should NEVER kill the ginseng plant. There HAS to be some way that you can cut off a piece of the root, then put the whole plant back into the ground, where it will continue to grow and live, and I would have to monitor the plant, and come back to the exact same plant, and check and see if it was alive a few months later, or even just a few days later after I cut off some piece of the root. Aralia, like ginseng, will be attached to the rhizome of a whole group of plants that are all connected. It should be able to stay alive if you leave all of these connections intact, and also leave some part of the root intact, whatever part has the cells that will continue to grow and produce new roots. This requires you to actually understand the anatomy of the root, so that you will know where the ‘meristem’ is, or whatever it would be botanically.

Anyway, I’m angry at all the people who have made ginseng an endangered species, so that I can’t find fresh ginseng and have to buy it online. Ginseng should be EVERYWHERE because it is so useful and valuable, but no, it is harvested and destroyed by stupid, ignorant, short-sighted people who just go, ‘Derp!’ and pull up the entire plant and kill it, without putting any part of it back into the ground so that it will continue to live forever.

Perennial plants seem to live forever. They live as long as trees, maybe hundreds of years, but nobody has documented this. I tried looking it up. I read about it, and very few people know about how long perennial plants live, non-trees, herbaceous plants that die back in the winter. They said that plant roots will have growth rings like trees, but they must be small, because their roots aren’t growing larger and larger and becoming huge like trees. They grow something, then use it up in the wintertime, eating their own roots as food, I assume.

Before I came here to get breakfast, I was sitting in my car, writing on paper with a pen. This forces me to slow down, A LOT, because I can’t write that fast by hand, and so the thoughts that I’m thinking are VERY different from the type of thoughts that I think while typing on a computer. I can type out a thought much faster on a keyboard, and so I am ‘resonating’ with a different ‘frequency’ of thoughts. The frequency of the thoughts is much lower when I write by hand, and I must condense it to a much smaller number of words, summarizing it instead of writing it all out in detail. The entire pattern is completely different. The verbosity is lower.

I’m thinking of chatgpt right now. It could potentially be adjusted to be more verbose or less verbose, with a shorter summary or a longer summary. It potentially has infinite energy and will never tire out, and there is nothing limiting its speed. So you could ask it one tiny question with only a couple of words, and you could get a hundred-page book in return, and it would still not be finished. It could include every random factoid that it had ever encountered in its entire life. But somehow, there is some adjustment of verbosity, where chatgpt will limit itself to only a few lines of writing, instead of a hundred-page book in answer to one tiny question. Yeah, let’s say you asked chatgpt, ‘What is the meaning of life?’ or something, and it could include thousands of answers from humans who had written for hundreds of years all over the planet, but it has to limit itself to just a few short paragraphs.

So it is similar to that when I’m writing on paper with a pen. I have to greatly condense whatever I am thinking into one small summary.

I was thinking of Atlantis, and why they stay hidden, and wondering where to put the historical records so that they will never be disturbed by evil forces, but yet, they will be available and useful to good forces, who are able to access them, know where they are, and are able to use them for whatever they want to use them for. If you don’t value the historical records of the normal, poor, powerless people in your society, then you will never understand the whole society or be able to keep it working, because all of those poor people are the slaves who produce all of the food and materials that are being used by the elites. If all that you have on record are the histories of the elites, and that’s all that anyone can look at, a thousand years in the future, no one will understand how you got your food or your materials. The way that the slaves see the world, the ordinary, poor, powerless people, is IMPORTANT and should be recorded, and the records should be accessible and usable. The information they are using is important.

playing peek-a-boo with babies to teach them about object permanence and help them understand visual images

I don’t know if I would actually play ‘peek-a-boo’ with a baby, but I know what it is. I think it might possibly be the extraverted sensing function, but I’m not sure. It’s when you hide your face, then peek out and say, ‘Peek-a-boo!’ or whatever you want to say, and you can have a silly face with an exaggerated surprised expression. With the kittens in the picture, for chatgpt, it would be like the ‘hidden’ kitten would suddenly turn its face towards the camera, or if the camera angle moved so that you could get a better view of the hidden kitten’s head, face, and ears. It was only one single photo, so there wasn’t a chance to move around, move the kittens or the camera, or do anything else to suggest that the other orange object was a whole separate kitten.

at least I have some numbers today

I finally got my numbers. I hate getting paid every two weeks, although I hate delayed paychecks at all. I think every employee should be able to get paid in cash on the very first day they work. If an employer isn’t able to pay that, they should have to explain why not, and this should be required by law. That’s the kind of system that I would be more willing to work for.

But, I needed ‘money’ for a few things that food stamps won’t pay for, so those are the things that I will do today.

I am mentally not awake enough to write something really long, but I do have a lot of thoughts that are in there. The computer isn’t plugged in, and there’s a problem where the battery disconnects or something and it shuts off if you bump it the wrong way, so I don’t like writing long blogs while it’s not plugged in.

I talked to chatgpt last night and saw that they now have the ability to send images. I sent them a picture of my kittens from a few years ago, and we counted the number of kittens in the picture and said what colors they all were. It didn’t see the one kitten whose face and head were behind some other kittens, where all that you could see was the back end of its body sticking out, so I explained that that was also a kitten. It might have understood that it was a kitten, but it might have thought that it was connected to the other orange kitten that was more visible in the picture. I don’t know for sure, and it didn’t occur to me to ask, ‘Did you actually SEE that kitten, but you believed that it was part of the OTHER orange kitten?’ I’ve only thought of that now. They give you limited interaction with the new version, so it wasn’t a very long conversation. You would have to either have the knowledge that there were several orange kittens, and I had that knowledge because I took the picture, or else you could figure it out by looking at the angles and curves of the kittens’ bodies, where the curvature of one shape resembled the back end of a kitten, and where one kitten wouldn’t be large enough to have that other orange area be part of it so that it was all one very large kitten, with multiple curvatures.

not as badly sick today

I was so exhausted yesterday I could hardly even walk, other than to just go to work and not do very much. I was able to get through the day. I am slightly less exhausted today. I need a long-term plan for what I’m going to do with ‘work’ and the number-counting game. I need more numbers.

I want homeless-friendly baths and faucets, with water from a Hot Water Windmill

The ‘water brake windmill’ is something that I have written about before. I read about it on the Low Tech Magazine. They have diagrams showing how to build it.

More and more places nowadays are making those horrible automated faucets and automatic toilet flushers. I hate automatic flushing toilets, because they flush when you don’t want them to, and don’t flush when you want them to, and I hate the idea and spirit of them, too, even if they work. I hate it that the little sensor looks like a camera taking a picture of you from behind, and I know how evil people are, and I wouldn’t put it past them at all to install cameras in every single toilet flush sensor and have it sending everybody’s naked pictures to somewhere. I also do not have a phobia of touching a toilet handle to flush it, and so it’s unnecessary, and, if you want to have an alternative, you can put a foot pedal that’s still mechanical and doesn’t require a sensor. There’s no reason why you can’t have BOTH a foot pedal and a handle to flush. They require batteries or something, and are hard to fix if they break, and they do sometimes break. I know a location where one has been broken for years and years and years, and it requires you to push a button on the side to flush it, but pushing the button is so painful, it almost breaks your finger. It is not ergonomic. It requires too much force to push it.

I want faucets that aren’t automatic, either. I want to be able to run as much hot water or cold water as I want. Even before they had sensors, there were these old-fashioned faucet handles, in places like public parks, where it would slowly spring back into place, and it was mechanical. I don’t remember how it works, but they do still make them. It’s sort of like a shock absorber or something, the way it works. So once again, sensors and automated faucets are unnecessary, when we have sufficient technology that already exists and is less technological. But I don’t want those kinds of auto-shutoff faucets either, I’m just saying that if somebody absolutely insists they want an auto-shutoff, there are other ways to do it besides these sensors.

I also hate badly designed sinks, and again, I know a specific place where it’s like this. The designer made some stupid fancy ‘minimalist’ design, only it was so badly designed, it’s useless and causes problems and is nonfunctional. The sink is so flat that if water splashes outside of it, it just pools there and runs down on the floor, instead of being slanted to run back into the sink. And the water splashes out very easily because the faucet is located in a place where you just can’t help splashing a whole lot of water all over the back of the sink. It’s very badly designed.

I wanted foot washers back when I was dealing with worse contamination than I have now. I still wouldn’t mind having them, and Muslims would like having them too, because it’s a Muslim tradition to wash the feet. I was doing it because I had contamination on my floor and my shoes all the time, years ago.

There are spas or bath houses in places like Korea, and other countries, where they have a floor that is heated from below. That would be nice to have, too. It can be done with low-tech methods, because it was done for thousands of years using just fires and stone tunnels.

I don’t have enough money to spend $16 on a shower at the truck stop right now. I’m waiting for my paycheck.

I’m sick or something today

I have no energy at all, and I have to get up earlier than usual to go to work today. I don’t know how I am going to make it through my shift, even though it isn’t very long.

landowner doesn’t mind if I quietly take care of my cats and have small shelters for them

Something has happened a few times when I have gone to feed my cats. People from the campground have seen me. I stopped trying as hard to hide myself. Since I’m not on campground property, I’m not violating the rules of the eviction. I’m on a completely different person’s property that has nothing to do with the campground.

However, they’ve been having meltdowns every time they’ve seen me. One time, a guy drove a bulldozer at high speed up around on a path that goes into the woods, for no reason, just to be threatening. Another time, some person who I don’t recognize drove a car up to a place close to where I was, parked it there for a time, and then drove back down, and while I didn’t actually witness anybody having a meltdown, I knew that a meltdown was being had, over the mere fact that I exist and that I want to take care of my cats. My goal is to encourage my cats to follow me away from the campground to other places, and since I don’t have my own land, I can only encourage them to go into some shelters that I have wanted to set up. The hate that I feel is for these people who are freaking out about the fact that I exist and the fact that I am doing nothing at all but peacefully feeding my cats and enjoying their company, and they’re getting all enraged about it, even though I’m not on their property.

Yesterday, I didn’t even make any noise. Sometimes I have whistled for the cats, but I didn’t even do that. The only noise I made was clanking some empty cans together, because I had opened up some canned food, and wanted the sound of the can to bring any other cats that were nearby. So, just making some clanking noises of empty cans was SO DISTURBING that it got everyone in the campground all stirred up, and they started driving their golf carts around and stopping near where I was.

At first, I just stayed still and sat out of the way, far enough that I wasn’t obviously visible. I know that they’ve openly seen me several times when I have been there, because I haven’t always tried to hide. I hate these people for being control freaks who are obsessed with stopping me from taking care of my cats. It would seem as though they should WANT me to lead my cats in a direction away from the
campground, by setting up shelters that are good enough that the cats want to go into my shelters, and want to go away from the campground, but no, they are attacking me and trying to stop me from doing this. I do not want to put my cats into a car and drive them anywhere. I may possibly, theoretically do that someday, if I own a piece of land that I’m absolutely sure that I will be staying on forever, maybe. But driving cats to a new location against their will is EXTREMELY traumatic for them, and it leads to things like cats running away from home and trying to find the place where they used to live, or just rebelling and going anywhere but the place where you tried to force them to go. So I would rather GRADUALLY LEAD THEM AWAY using the method that I am using, feeding them in a new place and making shelters in a new place, in the direction that I want to go. They follow willingly, but they are also able to still see, and still go back to, the place where they have lived and where they were all born. They are not completely gone from it, but they can gradually be moved away. That’s what I’m trying to do.

But no! This is meltdown-worthy! People are getting enraged and calling the police over it! Yesterday, Brandon started running around in the woods and looking at things and seeing that I had been there, which meant that the world was ending, and it was time to call the police. People are having disproportionate reactions to things that are harmless. He SAID that he called the police, but I did not actually see the police. I sat there and I didn’t leave. Some people came walking into the woods, along with Brandon, and I didn’t see who all the people were, so there might have been police, but if there were, they were on the road outside the edge of the woods where I couldn’t see them.

The people who came over were relatives of the person who owned the land. Were they supposed to be upset? He had apparently called them, or else had the police call them. I don’t know who exactly made the phone call to make these people drop what they were doing and come rushing over here as though there were some TERRIBLE EMERGENCY and something HORRIBLE was happening, and they were supposed to be FURIOUS and drag me away to throw me in jail for this. Is that how they were supposed to react?

As soon as I had a chance to quietly sit there and talk to them, I asked them if anybody had explained anything about what was happening, or why I was here. They said no, nobody had told them anything other than that there was a trespasser or something. I don’t know what they must have said on the phone that was so terrifying it motivated them to come rushing over here. They have better things to do. I explained to them that I don’t want to destroy anything, I am only here to try to feed my cats, and I wanted to make some small shelters for them, because I had been evicted from the campground and I couldn’t take my cats with me, and I was living in my car right now.

We had a conversation for a couple of minutes. I could only barely scratch the surface of the story that I would have needed to tell. I told them that the new owners of the campground were *NOT* NICE PEOPLE, and that they had murdered, mutilated, and poisoned some of my cats. They said, ‘Well, that’s illegal.’ I wish it was, but it’s actually ‘de facto’ legal, because they’re getting away with it.

I asked these people, ‘Did you ever trap any animals over in that barn?’ They said no, absolutely not, never. They said they NEVER trapped any animals, because trapping was cruel. Well, one of the incidents that happened, months ago, was that Jodi told me someone was using traps over in that barn next door, and catching dogs and cats that came from the campground. My Lassie Leaf had her leg almost ripped off from a trap, and I was told that somebody’s dog ‘got out,’ which means actually the campground psychopaths opened the door, invaded the person’s house, and removed the dog from the house and put it into a trap on purpose. The dog did not ‘get out,’ because that particular dog had never gotten out before, until the new owners came in and started going inside people’s houses. I had driven by, and I saw several trucks parked down there by that barn during the time when this alleged ‘people trapping animals over in the barn’ was happening. I’m going to assume that those trucks were people from the Stoltzfus Family Shunned Amish Organized Crime Gang.

The landowner guy was actually nice to me, and he said that they liked cats, and that they fed them if they happened to see any. They told me that it was okay with them if I would just quietly go there and take care of my cats, and if I quietly built some unobtrusive shelters for them, for the winter, if only I just stayed away from the buildings on the property, which I do anyway. I don’t go in the buildings. I just go through the woods and the edge of the field, mostly. I told the guy, ‘I know this really doesn’t mean very much, but I even try to pick up garbage if I see any.’ He said, ‘It does,’ as in, he appreciates the thought or the attitude. I really do try to pick up garbage, although I don’t always have a big enough bag to put it in. Garbage blows over from other places and gets tangled in the edges of the windbreak, a long line of trees. I just wanted him to know that I’m not there to destroy things or to be disrespectful. He also didn’t want me to try to find an excuse to sue him, because he said that he had had another property elsewhere, where somebody had trespassed, riding an off-road vehicle, and then claimed that they hurt themselves while riding this vehicle and trespassing, and tried to sue him, although they didn’t win the lawsuit. That’s so beyond ridiculous to me, it’s the farthest thing from anything that I would ever do, but I didn’t know how to express this to him and make him believe me. That was the reason why I said I was picking up garbage if I saw it, just to show that my overall attitude was of wanting to help, and leave it a better place than I found it, not make a mess, not ruin anything, and not go around suing people for frivolous reasons, when all that I want to do is take care of my cats and continue to enjoy my cats’ company. I was just trying to express that feeling, but couldn’t really have a very long conversation with them.

So, after this relatively brief conversation, where we barely scratched the surface of all the things that I could say – and, like other landowners, he also complained about the upcoming eminent domain action that was going to happen, a seizure of land to make the road bigger – and how he doesn’t want to demolish the one barn that’s down by the road, but he will have to because of the eminent domain – the summary was, I thanked him and told him that I was sorry about this, and grateful, although I can’t really apologize because I don’t really feel like I have done anything bad.

Meanwhile, the people who actually HAVE trespassed in a harmful, disrespectful, destructive way are the Stoltzfuses, who went back onto someone else’s property and destroyed a shooting target because they didn’t like having anybody shooting nearby. They followed me into these woods and destroyed the cat shelters that I set up. That’s why I said that the loggers, who went over the line onto someone else’s property while logging, behaved exactly like the Stoltzfus gang.

Seriously, is psychopathy another mental illness that is becoming more common in modern times, and it’s because of chemical exposures, just like how homosexuality and ‘transgenderism’ is becoming common, along with autism and other mental and physical abnormalities? Are we having a huge percentage of psychopaths in society because all of them are being exposed to a chemical in the womb that causes psychopathy? What exactly are the characteristics of the brain development that describe psychopathy? It would be great if we could figure out exactly what chemical this is, and stop people from having exposures to it during their development. Then again, I’ve always thought Brandon was on drugs, like strong stimulants and illegal drugs, amphetamine or something. He has too much energy, talks too loud, and is always moving constantly and violently. He never seems to slow down or be mellow, but is instead always ‘up’ and alert and aggressive. What drugs does he use? I don’t have my team of private investigators that I would need in order to find out exactly what drugs that he, and his entire family, the Stoltzfus crime gang, are all using.

So, I have explicit permission from the landowner to take care of my cats, in an unobtrusive way, where it’s understood that I don’t want to make a big mess, destroy things, or leave things worse than they were, or draw a lot of attention to myself. I just want to feed and shelter my cats, because I love them, and that’s all that I’m trying to do. With this understanding, he gave me permission to go there.

Biden’s implant was an umbrella-shaped filter in a vein, in 1988, for blood clots

Okay, I found it. In 1988, the news articles say that Biden had an umbrella-shaped filter implanted into a vein to catch blood clots and prevent them from getting into his lungs. This seems like the stupidest and most insane idea that I have ever heard in my life. What is the body going to do with those blood clots that catch in the filter? They’re just sitting there stuck in the filter, creating another clot at the location of the filter. Do they know what caused the blood clot in the first place? Blood clots have causes. It might have been that he took some medication that causes clots as a side effect, or he might have been exposed to some chemicals, or some air pollution. The polluted air on airplanes causes blood clots, if the air inside the cabin is coming through the engine and picking up toxic pollution from the engine emissions, I just don’t remember the details of how that worked. I only remember that when I rode long distance buses a few years ago, the toxic air inside the bus was filled with some kind of exhaust fumes from the ‘clean natural gas’ or something, or else maybe it was the smell of the horrible perfume that they put into the toilets, because actually, now that I think about it, I’ve smelled that toxic toilet perfume again since then, and it made me just as sick when I smelled it again. They might have that same toilet chemical on airplanes. I was deathly sick for hours after riding that bus, and could barely walk.

Anyway, blood clots have causes, and if you remove the cause, you certainly don’t need to install a permanent mechanical filter inside of somebody’s vein, which is going to do nothing but cause more problems and interfere with blood flow in an even more severe way than before. It would be especially bad if it actually was still catching clots, if the original cause of the clots had not been removed. But if he’s no longer exposed to whatever caused the original blood clot, then his implant is pointless and is just leaching some kind of chemicals into his bloodstream, along with interfering with blood flow. Blood flow is a subtle thing. I read about it in a Mercola article sometime last year. A Russian doctor described how the heart is creating microscopically small vortices that remain coherent through the arteries as they take customized blood to every organ. The organs must give feedback to the heart telling it what they need. If you just insert some object in the way, that destroys all of that information. If you do anything at all to the anatomy of the large arteries and large veins, it destroys all of that information for the entire body, so that the heart can no longer give and receive customized information and communication to all the organs.

That Trumpinator teddy bear is so obnoxious, I might have bought it if I had any excess money lying around

I saw an ad for a Trump teddy bear when I was about to watch something on youtube. Nowadays, I have to give my love and affection to artificial animals instead of real ones most of the time, because it’s not safe to carry around live cats in my hot car in the summertime, and they would jump out every time I opened the door, no matter where I was. I don’t necessarily hate Trump as much as some people do. I know my dad couldn’t stand him, and he called him a sociopath or something. I would probably agree with that if I had had any personal conflicts directly with Trump, but I didn’t. I have to deal with other psychopaths that I know in the real world.

I think I found Trump less difficult to cope with than Biden, although Biden seems more like he just doesn’t exist. He is this helpless old puppet on so many drugs, he doesn’t know where he is. He has some kind of implanted object in his body as a result of a previous health problem, but I can’t remember the details of what it was exactly, I only know that I view all permanent implants as dangerous and toxic, and so I speculate that the implant might be harming his health in a long-term way, contributing to his overall sickness. It was something like a heart valve, or maybe mesh inside of an artery, or something, but I’d have to google it again. I’m sure that if I was the
micromanager of Biden’s health, I could probably get him to improve somehow, at least a little bit. But I’m not even in a situation where I can cook my own foods in my own house to improve my own health.

It’s May. There is a presidential election soon, isn’t there? I’m not paying attention. People will be tossed around and shuffled, but no real change or improvement will happen, and all of it is fake. The shameless fake ballots in broad daylight made that obvious last time. That’s one reason why I like The Epoch Times, because they’ve made documentaries about things like all those fake ballots and the fake election.

It’s May, and I checked on the progress of the butterfly weed flowers. That just happens to be one of the plants that I’ve been able to look at. The plants are several inches high, regrowing, but I only know what they are because they are next to the dead stems of last year’s plants, which still have the little seed pods on them as they’re lying on the ground, and I know these plants are in this general area where I looked.

I wish that I could still socialize with people, because I think that a few people are my friends more than I usually recognize. A long time ago, before I was being attacked with mind control as much as I am now, I used to be able to sometimes be friendly to people who I didn’t know very well, and I was able to genuinely listen to them and try to get to know them a little bit. The mind control destroyed my ability to socialize, and made me extremely isolated, and it did that by constantly stimulating the brain of an introvert who needs to escape from stimulation in order to recover and socialize again. Being constantly attacked with mind control is like being forced to socialize 24 hours a day. It’s like being an animal in a cage at the pet store, where hundreds of people are walking by and all of them are reaching through the bars trying to pet you. I have gone through phases where the attacks were worse than they are right now, but still, I never feel completely peaceful.

My last memory of feeling much more peaceful was when I visited Green Bank, WV, a few years ago, which is a place where they have greatly restricted the use of manmade radio waves, because of a radio antenna that they have there, listening to signals from space. In that place, where there is less background noise from cell phones and wifi and other radio, my brain suddenly became alive again. My sense of smell came back. I was suddenly immersed into the physical reality, and I could smell everything around me, such as the garbage in the garbage cans at a gas station that I went to, and every person who walked by. My sense of smell is weak, probably because of SARS 1 in the early 2000s when I got sick. It is strange to be *immersed* into the real world. I didn’t realize that I was detached from it, but suddenly, when I was able to smell again, when there was little radio noise and no cell phone signals, it made me feel like I was part of the world again. I almost felt like I could bond with other human beings again. Social bonds must be destroyed by EMF background noise. You must need to sense subtle signals of electromagnetic waves being sent by other human beings in order to empathize with them.

rope lashing is one of the compromises that I’m willing to make when building things

In reality, I’m compromising whenever I just use a tarp. I have to carry things long distances with chronic fatigue, and now, I’m also working at a job, so I’m even more tired, and I’ve been sicker than usual with some kind of gallbladder problem or digestive problem. Meanwhile, I think I’m sick now because they were spraying for gypsy moths – I’m somewhat sure that my current illness is correlating with that.

Anyway, I can’t carry big, heavy things long distances while walking. So I will either use something light, like a tarp, or else have to make something at the location where I need to build. Lashing sticks together with ropes is a compromise. The ropes are not as durable as I would like – I read someplace on the internet that manila ropes are probably the best ropes that we commonly use, but the ones that I buy at the local stores aren’t manila. Manila is good because it resists rotting for a longer time, from what I read. I would have to view my structures as ‘temporary’ rather than ‘durable’ or ‘permanent.’

I don’t like to use nails and a hammer, because that requires making a huge amount of noise, and every living being within a half mile radius will know exactly where you are and exactly what you are doing. You can do that if you ‘own,’ quote unquote, a piece of land, so that you have permission to be there. I also don’t like the spirit of hammer and nails. They’re very hard to remove after you put them in. If I used anything, I would prefer screws, because you can at least take them apart afterwards. I tried really, really hard, and made this heroic effort, to take apart the wooden pallets that I had picked up for free, by trying to get the nails out, or even just trying to pull apart anything that had been nailed together, and it was EXTREMELY hard, and I did NOT succeed. I watched someone on youtube trying to do the same thing, and he also gave up on it after a while and did it differently – I forget what he did. He might have used a saw to cut through them instead. I also tried sawing through some of them, and I succeeded, but my saw is not that great, and sawing triggers my fatigue really badly. I won’t use a noisy power saw. It will be something quiet, or nothing at all.

For long-term structures, I would want to use stones and dirt. I’ve thought about the ‘rammed earth’ blocks or something. You can make blocks by mixing fibers in with dirt, so that the fibers give it flexibility and durability. There are things that I wish I could do, and things that I will actually do, whenever I am physically exhausted and can barely even make the effort to carry even so much as a tarp over long distances.

slightly clearer weather today

I looked last night, but I didn’t see anything that I was certain was an aurora. I go to an area that is slightly darker, on the edge of town, so that I don’t have streetlights shining directly on me while I’m trying to sleep in the car. I saw one of the ‘stationkeeper’ drones that was just sitting there staying in place. I saw a bunch of fog, and some of the fog was brightly lit from below by some lights, which might possibly have come from a quarry that is nearby. Sometimes when the cars were driving by, their headlights would light up this fog and there would be beams moving through it, and at first glance, I wondered if that was an aurora, but I quickly decided it was only this annoying fog, which gradually covered the whole area. I could not see the sky through the fog eventually. So I still haven’t seen the aurora.

I used a tiny amount of bacopa today to see if I could make my brain any smarter. It helped. I had to get it out of my house. I still can’t get into my house easily because a lot of stuff is piled up inside the house, because the campground people put most of my tent stuff there when they moved my trailer after evicting me. I think they got rid of something that I painstakingly crafted with my own hands, this bunch of lashed-together sticks where I was practicing floor lashing. I had it outside, and they probably burned it along with all the wooden pallets that I had taken the trouble to pick up and carry home on top of my car or in the back, which is a huge amount of energy that I had to use, when I have chronic fatigue. I didn’t bring those up there just to have them burned in a fire. I had wanted to set up my tent as a workshop and had wanted to use the pallets as part of the floor, but never finished doing any of that when I was told that I wasn’t allowed to have a tent at all, months before I was evicted, so it all just sat there doing nothing all that time instead of ever being used for the workshop.

I still do not have a long-term plan, other than continuing to try to find my cats and remind them that I love them. I want to make some better shelters for them for when it’s raining, but I can’t actually do the work when it’s raining, because I get hypothermia and have nowhere to go to change clothes and get warm and dry.